It is 5 am, and I am not sleeping when I should be...... so I figured I would share some random thoughts.
1)Speaking of being up at 5 am, I really dislike what steroids do to my sleep whether it is low dose like they have me on now for nausea or higher doses like I used to have to be on for lung stuff. I know that they serve an important purpose, but they automatically send my sleep into a tailspin. There is nothing quite like spending 3-4 nights where you sleep for 2-3 hours then are wide awake for 2-3, maybe go back to sleep for a couple, etc. only to spend all day tired and then be wide awake when it is time to go to sleep for the night. On the plus side, I've gone through clothes, cleaned my desk, done filing, and gotten other things done during my wide awake in the middle of the night sprees that probably would have been put off otherwise. Last night was my last dose so sleep should be coming back to me soon, yeah!
2) My skin and the chemo do not like each other. The oncologist warned me on Tuesday that it could flare back up and/or that is a side effect for some people, and gave me an antibiotic just in case. By Wednesday, when I went in for my white blood cell booster shot, I was already having to start that antibiotic. I'm very thankful she was proactive, and the test will be what happens when I do have the lowest counts in the next few days. At least, I already have an appointment with the plastic surgeon Wednesday so if it does get worse we can take care of it quickly.
3) Losing your taste is a very strange phenomenon! Everyone warns you that it will happen, but it is still bizarre to sit down with oatmeal,an egg, or some other food like you do every other morning and it suddenly have no taste at all. I am not a foodie by any means, but typically, I do like what I eat to taste like something. Weirder than having no taste is when food actually tastes bad. I have discovered that anything diet or artificially sweetened tastes like metal, which I could kind of expect since I've always thought they have weird aftertastes anyway, but even crazier is when foods like pizza taste like metal or just really wrong. Of course, maybe if my comfort foods like that taste bad then I'll be able to stave off the other dreaded steroid side effect of weight gain.
4) The other thing people warned me about, but I didn't really understand is the heightened sense of smell. It has only been the smell of a few foods that make me go running for the nearest exit as quickly as possible so far, but it has been a weird grouping of them: a vat of pickles in a sandwich shop, fajitas, and popcorn. Two of those three are pretty easy to avoid, but I never realized how many restaurants have fajitas on the menu before. It will be interesting to see if other things are added to the "bother me list" as I have more treatments, but I apologize in advance if I walk in to a restaurant with you and say we have to change location or go running from the table when someone else's food is brought nearby.
This is such a weird journey, but as long as all of these things are happening, I do know that the chemo is trying to do it's job. I might dislike some of it, but at the same time, I'll gladly deal with the side effects to get the cancer under control. Well, I'll end the random musings and see if I can actually fall back asleep for an hour or two now. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!